unexplainable feeling

This night, i'm sitting here alone . My heart feel so empty, no one can reach it :( even the one who always accompany me throughout all the past night . Since my latest boyfriend left me . The pain and loneliness feel so deep this night . And when this feeling wrapping me, i just wanna back to the past time . When i was a little girl, who always laugh and cheerful . Even everyday i always spreading a sweet smile, but there's a deep scar in my heart . It's still bleeding, make a big trauma .

I just want to meet, someone who can see this pain, and hug me tight :( Say that he will always beside me, keeping me till the end of his life . A boy who love me without a reason . Sincere boy, i doubt there's a boy like that -_- This morning, i must go to my new campus . But there's no spirit to go there, so empty so lonely me . I hope that everyone who loves me, can admit my situation . Even i don't know "are they sincere or not ?" . Because i feel that i was an ordinary girl, there's nothing special in me, and how can they choose me beside all of the wonderful girls ?

Honestly, i'm still can't distinguishing where's the love and where's the affection . In this case, i mean love is like a girl and her boyfriend . And affection is a girl and her best friend . I'm 19 years old but still amateur about this . But i supposed that all i must do is just to be a good girl, and a good boy will reach me :) isn't it ? If only i can find a boy just like in my dream when i was a little girl . A boy who hold me tight when everyone ignore and leave me . A boy who always beside me, even when i already grow old and doesn't beauty anymore . Someday i'll find him :)